Let’s face it – no one is ever going to agree 24/7. Whether you’re discussing a sensitive topic, trying to resolve a conflict with a loved one, or mediating two children who feel like hitting each other, things can get messy and emotional.
Although it’s impossible to always see eye to eye, you might want to try one of these helpful techniques the next time you get into an argument with someone else:
1. Lie on the floor – You can say anything you want, but you have to lie on the floor without touching AND you have to look at the ceiling. Trust me, I’ve tested this and if you lay down and look or look at each other, it doesn’t work nearly as well.
2. Sit or stand back to back – I learned about this great technique from Mauricio Estrella on Quora who uses this technique with his girlfriend:
“Most of the time, it’s our human nature to always try to win an argument in the heat of an argument, whether completely rational or irrational. The same thing happens to most of us in relationship discussions. In my case: My girlfriend is Chinese, I’m Ecuadorian, so the cultural differences have an impact on our peace. Quite often.”
I came up with the idea of sitting (or standing) with my back against my girlfriend’s back whenever the discussion gets heated and we need to resolve an argument about something.
By going back to back, you continue the discussion as if you were still arguing face to face. After a few minutes, this ALWAYS helps us end the discussion and come to a really happy conclusion. Through this we learned so much about ourselves and each other.
This makes the argument much more objective. You no longer have another person in front of you that you are trying to rationalize, excuse, cajole, or convince of something. Instead, you are more vulnerable because you are not talking to anyone in front of you. Your voice resonates and you can practically listen to your own voice and think, “Well, I’m right!” or maybe, “Damn, I’m full of shit, this is wrong. I’m wrong.”
It used to take a few minutes for the discussion to finally end. At the end, when you turn around, you’ll be face to face with the person you just agreed with. It’s a moment when you think, “Ah…there she is…” or “There he is…” and realize how beautiful a peaceful moment feels.
It’s a small thing that changed our relationship.”
Remember that stress is not good for anyone’s health. So, aside from increased intimacy and improved relationships, for the sake of your health, you should at least try one of these techniques!
Original post January 2015. Last updated June 2020.
Jini Patel Thompson is an internationally recognized expert in natural healing for digestive diseases. She healed herself from widespread Crohn’s disease and has been medication and surgery free for over 25 years. Jini has appeared on numerous podcasts, TV and radio shows in the US, UK, Canada and Australia, giving people hope and vision on how to heal their colitis, Crohn’s disease, diverticulitis and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) using all-natural methods. Her books on natural healing of digestive diseases have been sold in over 80 countries worldwide. Jini is married and has three children, nine sheep, 11 horses, a cat and three dogs.
