I recently saw a stunning video of Iyanla Vanzant when she was interviewed by Jessica Ortner. I sat through the whole video, took notes and, as always, was impressed by this powerful woman! Today I wanted to share with you what I learned.
Let go of vengeance & turn into love / acceptance
Iyanla reminded me that revenge should have no place in our lives, especially when we are healing – or trying. The reason I think this is so important is that with IBD we usually have massive anger inside us. Anger at the disease itself, at the doctors, at the drugs, and at any abuse or trauma we have endured. All of this is understandable! But the question arises, which emotion are we going to let dominate? Will we allow the healing emotions to surface, like the LOVE or the bitterness and pain that come with hatred and vengeance?
Please think about it carefully – how can you draw out all hatred and learn to forgive?
Iyanla says: “Revenge – that is not possible. You hurt them and hurt yourself in the process. As if you were holding a whip, you hit it, but then the whip comes back and hits you. “
Along with the forgiveness of others comes the forgiveness of the SELF. These two go hand in hand! On the other hand, forgiving someone else is forgiving yourself.
“Forgiving the other is the realization that the ONLY person I really need to forgive is ME.”
Now you might be sitting there thinking, “Oh no! I am not to blame for the ______ I suffered! ”And you are absolutely right, but Iyalna explains that normally on a cognitive level we tend to blame ourselves in some way for what happened. Be it feeling guilty for not stopping what happened, or believing that we are not good enough – or a million other things!
When bad things happened to us, especially as children, our cognitive abilities were not yet fully developed. So it makes sense that we should, to some extent, bear some of the blame and guilt … because maybe that’s the only way we can explain why bad things happened.
There is a big difference between self-help and self-punishment. Negative thought patterns like “I’m stuck where I am because I should have done ___” won’t get you anywhere. What to focus on is how to move forward?
If you are currently using acupressure tapping as a mind / body / soul tool then you will know how powerful it really is! And if you’re not familiar with this, Jini recently created a course on the exact same subject. I encourage you to join her for a free session if you haven’t tried this wonderful tool before.
If you are currently using EFT or Lazer Tapping as a healing method, here is a great excerpt from Iyalna’s video to speak out loud while tapping:
“______ is not where I want to be. So HOW do I go forward? Not, why did _____ happen …? “
WHY gets you nowhere and it distracts you from your destination. Even IF you’ve figured out the reasons why _____ happened, does _____ (what you did / said) do right? Or change that it still happened?
Iyalna recommends saying the following during your tapping session:
“I forgive myself for BELIEVING this person who _______ (says what they did or said to you) still has power in my life.”
That statement made me shudder because it gets to the point!
Keep typing with this statement….
“I forgive myself for believing that I could protect myself by staying angry with her.”
I would also like to add that we often hold to the belief that “there is nothing I can do”. That puts us in a victim mentality and that takes our power away. None of these beliefs make us feel safe or secure!
So let’s get our power back. As? Well one way is LOVE.
Iyalna quotes this lovely expression from a man named Earnest Helms:
“There is no wound that is deep enough that LOVE cannot heal. Nothing that love cannot bridge. “
If you’re familiar with Jini’s tapping sessions, you’ll know this statement that is made in almost every session:
“Even though I feel ______ or _______, I still choose to love and accept myself …”
It’s incredibly powerful! Many people even find it difficult to pronounce these words because they do not know how to love and accept themselves. This is why tapping is so powerful as it really helps us get into this place of love and self acceptance. Please check out Jini’s 4 week course to get you to this place!
If you find yourself struggling with the above statement, I want you to take this gem from Iyalna with you:
“I’m ready. I am really learning. I choose to love and accept myself anyway. “
This can help you start the journey to love and acceptance without creating a lot of resistance!
Have fun on your way to healing!
And here is the video I am referring to. If you haven’t seen it before, I highly recommend it! I am sure you will be as excited as I was.
What are your main mind / body / spirit tools? Have you tried EFT tapping before? Tell me in the comments!
Linsy is Jini’s assistant. From a highly sensitive / reactive case of ulcerative colitis to complete freedom from medication and surgery using exclusively natural methods, Linsy understands the interplay of mind / body / soul on the healing path firsthand.