Have you ever felt the need to control things in order to be safe, healthy and for things to go well?
Believe me i was there! I felt like I had to control my surroundings, my supplements, and my protocols or I would never be healthy. But as you know, this can be an exhausting fight! It is actually a no-win fight as it is completely impossible to control other people.
And sure, you can be in control of your supplements and protocols, but are they becoming a MUST have crutch or aren’t you feeling safe?
The Belief System “Take Control Of Your Health”
Many are familiar with the phrase “take control of your health”, but is your body really something that should be controlled? It is so much better to rephrase that belief by saying, “I will regain my power by listen to my body. “
This belief that you need to take control of your health / body almost leads to a bad / good situation where you lose when you cannot control your health or other things. This mentality is simply not good for anyone.
If I had heard this belief all my life, if I “failed” in my health attempts (like a Herxheimer reaction or if I couldn’t take a particular supplement in one of Jini’s protocols), I would think I was not good enough. I would immediately blame myself for not doing / trying well enough and because of that I did not heal!
Here’s what I learned: You can do everything right and still have symptoms.
Why? Because pain, symptoms and side effects have their reason! The more you muzzle them by pushing them down / away, ignoring your body’s messages and / or making yourself guilty like I did for having them in the first place, the more pushing them back!
Plus, the emotional components of my UC weren’t addressing at the time, so it probably made me even sicker to feel guilty about why things weren’t working.
It all reminds me of the time when Jini mentioned to me that she doesn’t like the term “warrior” when it is used in relation to your health. It implies that you are in a fight against your body when in real life your body always makes itself strong for you. Instead of fighting your body, which is so difficult for you, why not try to listen to your body, stay present and just be there?
If you haven’t guessed it already, I’ve been talking to myself pretty harshly and creating very negative beliefs. I thought if I did this it would make me a stronger person, but instead it crushed me. It was devastating to be knocked down by negative self-talk all the time.
Another obstacle of mine (for years) was letting go. I have been told by countless doctors and practitioners to just “let go” – be it a troubling situation, a health struggle, a reaction of some kind, etc. Again, the implication was: I caused my own suffering by not letting go of it! Which made me even more frustrated because I wanted to let go of it but apparently couldn’t.
The problem is that until you learn healthy tools like meditation or Jini’s lazer tapping, you probably tilt let go – that’s what happened to me. It was only when I discovered tapping that I was actually able to let go of things and experiences emotionally and physically. It had nothing to do with my motivation because I was so sick that I tried everything. I was ready to do whatever I was comfortable with to get results.
Here’s the thing: You can’t really ask for someone to let go of something, especially when it’s wired to your brain and cells.
So, sitting there and trying to force yourself to let go of something just isn’t going to work! This is especially true in the case of trauma.
Think about how you were traumatized in the first place. It wasn’t by sitting with your thoughts. It was an experience, so if the memory of that experience is stuck in your body, “talk therapy” alone won’t set it free!
That “you have to let go or you won’t heal” thought got me down for a while. I wanted it so badly, but I couldn’t seem to get it. It wasn’t until I came across a new concept that I’m about to share with you that I realized WHY it wasn’t working, forcing myself to let go of something.
Here is an analogy I made to explain what I realized: think about what happens when you force something. When something is forced, there is friction. When we are forcing healing, especially when we are trying to shed emotional baggage, the “friction” may be the resistance that comes up. The trauma sets in again. Of course, resistance can be seen as a positive thing to know what to work on next and provide much needed insight.
But you don’t want to force a cure that will traumatize you again! This is what happens when you try to force it. If you try to resolve a trauma by force, you will be traumatized again by this “forcing” – it is of no use.
This can be a challenge as almost everyone is eager to heal, but it cannot be rushed. There can be many reasons why you are not ready to heal, but often it can boil down to something as simple as timing.
As I healed my physical body layer by layer, the emotional roots also came to light. I learned the hard way to address these issues layer by layer – not even! It was too much for me and it hurt me more than it healed me to try. Be proactive about this emotional component, but be cautious, do not rush or force anything. Take one thing at a time.
A new concept for “letting go”
Now I’m going to share with you a concept that has helped me a lot. It may sound silly at first, but give it a chance!
Let go of the idea of letting go.
At first I didn’t understand, but after a while it stuck in my mind. All the brainwashing I had, “you gotta let go” went right out the window and I was so relieved! I no longer have to empty and beat myself up for not being able to release anything.
To be clear, yes, we want to let go of things – and yes, it’s great for healing. But if you get too deep into this “letting go” thought pattern, you will be unhappy forever! You have to address your trauma, accept it, and let it go in a healthy medium (like meditation or lazer tapping), but you should NEVER force it. Feel it and take the time to work it through until you are ready – then choose acceptance.
I was able to learn to accept that the “X” symptom I was dealing with as a side effect on a dietary supplement wasn’t something I needed to get rid of. I could sit and take practical steps (of course) to alleviate the severity, but I no longer felt this crazy, fear-induced “need” for control. And once I let go of the idea of letting go, things naturally began to let go while I meditated and knocked.
Again, there was no more restrictive, forcing energy so that things could take place naturally. And how liberating it all was!
Jini’s thoughts on security and control
Jini has a great blog post and video about increasing the feeling of security and resilience by tapping with her and it’s awesome! In part of the video, she mentions something like: What if I don’t have to control things and instead can be safe by being resilient?
This beautiful video can help you open your eyes to how to actually let go of control – and let go!
Did you find this blog or my others helpful? If so, please let me know! And let me know if there is a specific topic you need to bring up that you might find helpful.
Linsy is Jini’s assistant. From a highly sensitive / reactive case of ulcerative colitis to complete freedom from medication and surgery with exclusively natural methods, Linsy understands the interplay of mind / body / soul on the healing path firsthand.