I recently saw a powerful video of Iyanla Vanzant when interviewed by Jessica Ortner. I sat through the whole video, took notes and, as always, was impressed by this powerful woman! I wanted to share with you what I learned today.
Letting go of vengeance and walking in love / acceptance
Iyanla reminded me that revenge should have no place in our lives, especially when we are healing – or trying. The reason I think this is so important is because we usually have massive anger inside us with IBD. Anger at the disease itself, at the doctors, at the drugs, at any abuse or trauma we have suffered. All of this is understandable! But the question arises, which emotions are we going to let dominate? Are we going to allow the healing feelings like LOVE or the bitterness and pain that come with hatred and vengeance to emerge?
Please think deeply – how can you extract hatred and learn forgiveness?
Iyanla says, “Revenge – it doesn’t work. You hurt her and hurt yourself in the process. Like holding a whip, you hit it, but then the whip comes back and hits you. “
Along with the forgiveness of others comes the forgiveness of the SELF. These two go hand in hand! On the other hand, forgiving someone else is forgiving yourself.
“Forgiving someone else is realizing that the ONLY person I really need to forgive is ME.”
Now you might be sitting there thinking, “Oh no! I am not to blame for the ______ I suffered from! “And you are absolutely right, but Iyalna explains that we normally, on a cognitive level, in some way blame ourselves for what happened. Whether it is to blame for not stopping what happened, or to carry the belief that we are not good enough – or a million other things!
When bad things happened to us, especially as a child, our cognitive skills are not fully developed. So it makes sense that we should, to some extent, bear some of the blame and blame … because maybe that’s the only way we can explain why bad things happened.
There is a big difference between self-help and self-punishment. Negative thought patterns like “I’m stuck where I am because I should have done ___” won’t get you anywhere. What to focus on is how to move forward?
If you are currently using acupressure tapping as a body, mind, and spirit tool, you will know how powerful it really is! And if you’re not familiar with it, Jini recently created a course on it. I encourage you to join her for a free session if you haven’t tried this wonderful tool before.
If you’re currently using EFT or lazer tapping as a healing method, here’s a great snippet from Iyalna’s video to help you speak out loud as you type:
“______ is not where I want to be. How do I move forward? Not why did _____ happen …? “
WHY gets you nowhere and it distracts you from where you want to go. Even if you’ve figured out reasons why _____ happened, is _____ (what they did / said) doing right? Or change that it still happened?
Iyalna recommends saying the following during your tapping session:
“I forgive myself for believing in this person who _______ (state what they did or said to you) still has power in my life.”
That statement scared me because it is so up to date!
Keep typing with this statement….
“I forgive myself for believing the way to protect myself was to stay mad at her.”
I would also like to add that we often hold to the belief that “there is nothing I can do”. This puts us in a victim mentality and takes our power away. With either belief, we feel neither safe nor protected!
So let’s get our strength back. How? One way is LOVE.
Iyalna quotes this lovely expression from a man named Earnest Helms:
“There is no wound that is deep enough that LOVE cannot heal. Nothing that love cannot bridge. “
If you’re familiar with Jini’s tapping sessions, you’ll know this statement that was made in almost every session:
“Even though I feel ______ or _______, I still choose to love and accept myself …”
It’s incredibly powerful! Many people find it difficult to pronounce these words because they do not know how to love and accept themselves. This is why tapping is so powerful because it really helps us get into this place of love and self acceptance. Please check out Jini’s 4 week course to arrive at this location!
If you find yourself struggling with the above statement, I want you to take this gem from Iyalna with you:
“I’m ready. I am really learning. I still choose to love and accept myself. “
This can help you step down the path to love and acceptance without creating a lot of resistance!
Have fun typing on the path to healing!
And here is the video I am referring to. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend seeing it! I am sure you will be as enthusiastic as I am.
What are your mind, body and soul tools? Have you ever tried to type EFT? Tell me in the comments!
Linsy is Jini’s assistant. From a highly sensitive / reactive case of ulcerative colitis to a completely drug and surgery-free case using only natural methods, Linsy understands the interplay of mind / body / spirit on the healing journey firsthand.